Thursday's Child ... has far to go ... (0nm10wn2feet) wrote,
Thursday's Child ... has far to go ...
0nm10wn2feet

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What a way to ring in the New Year!

Ok, fine. So I said I wasn't gonna be "kid-centric" anymore. So I lied .... sue me. All those high-flown promises go right out the freaking window when a kid needs help - even at an ungodly hour of the morning on the first day of the year. I had a bad feeling about last night even when I thought everyone was staying put ... I felt even worse after they all took off. I knew something was going to happen, I just couldn't tell anyone what. So when Will, Chris & Chris' friend came piling in the door hollering about Nik, I knew I had to do something, no matter how futile. Without realizing it, I did the only thing I could do - follow his silly ass down the road, praying that nothing happened to him, her or the baby until AFTER I caught up w/them.

As luck would have it (and when Nik is involved, LUCK is a biggie), everything turned out all right in the end. But not before she scared the crap out of him, he scared the crap out of himself, his brother, his best friend and me, and enough silly things were said and done to last MOST of the coming year. I HATE nights/mornings like that .... all you really want to do is rip someone's head off, but you can't because they've already figured out that they fucked up and they feel bad enough about shit. Then you're stuck trying to put their sorry asses back together and keep them moving down the line, whether they want to or not, because they got 'sponsibillaries.' Eh ... all I can say is "Could've been worse." "Could've been a helluva lot worse."

I'm just hoping to high heaven that they both learned something from this, 'cuz both of them needed a MAJOR wake-up call. There's another life involved here now, and they both need to think of that even more than they think of themselves or each other. It's a lifelong responsibility and they'd better either settle down and make the hard decisions to protect that life, or they'd better make the hard decisions to do what's best for that life and go on with their own. Thinking about all the lives at stake, it kinda makes that $160.00 that other whiny brat is so pissed off about sound a little stupid in comparison, doesn't it? Nik said, looking back at how tough things have been here in the past few months, he is surprised that he still lives here ... but he shouldn't be. Once he moved in, I accepted responsibility for at least keeping a roof over his head, as well as ours, and feeding him something. My only hope, as far as my part is concerned, is that he does not do the same thing the others have done ... he doesn't pull the "yeah, but what have you done for me TODAY" shit. That he doesn't get as whiny, childish and selfish as some other people and turn his back on me just like that. However, I am at least a little better prepared this time. I could see it happening, where I really didn't think the others would be this mercenary. I'm still not letting the defenses down this time, tho, even for Nik. I love that boy to death, but he has the capacity to rip ones heart out and walk away just as easily as someone else - I'm not getting involved to THAT extent ever again. Fortunately, he DOES have parents that will step in when they have to ... he just wants to do this on his own so badly. And I'd love to see him succeed, but not if it's going to cost others in the process. Still, it's kinda hard to stay aloof when a kid is sobbing his head off, sitting on the fucking COLD garage floor, at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, scared at what he suddenly sees as his future looming over him. Kinda hard to maintain that 'impartial front,' ya know?

Well, here's hoping that things continue to progress FORWARD from here for him and Missa. Me? I'm just hoping for a fucking NAP sometime today!! Happy New Year everyone, if you're safe and warm, STAY THERE! It's the best advice I can come up with for right now.

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