Thursday's Child ... has far to go ... (0nm10wn2feet) wrote,
Thursday's Child ... has far to go ...

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Is it really ONLY Wednesday?

I apologize in advance, but I have things I must say... and they won't make everyone truly happy. In fact, outside of the poor souls who have no freakin' clue what I'm referring to, it won't make anyone happy. Still, I need to say it SOMEWHERE. Or, quite frankly, I will "esplode", Strongbad-style. Where the heck is Trogdor when you need him, anyway?

I'm not a happy camper at the moment. Not only did I have the migraine headache straight from HELL this weekend (complete with seeing aurae and tossing my cookies), but I also had some unexpected bleeding from a part of my anatomy that isn't supposed to be doing that... ever. It was accompanied by a most deliciously uncomfortable stabbing sensation which indicated, to me, that I had another kidney stone on it's way out. Yay. I've been here before and it isn't all peaches and cream, to put it mildly.

Still, that was the least of my concerns, really. In our personal economic "downturn," I've been holding off refilling my prescriptions for as long as I possibly can without actually dying from what the drugs are supposed to help. One of those was my blood pressure stuff. I figured (in that wacky world that only exists in my head) that I'd lived this long with stupid BP numbers, what's a month more, right? (Monday night's numbers... 147/98 - I'm thinking that's not real great, from the looks I got) That would be all fine and good if the kamis, or whatever higher power exists didn't continue to fuck with my head (and life) on a regular basis.

Even so, I could claw my way past THAT, and maintain on a fairly even keel. After all, I've been doing that despite the black hole that is my existence some days. I've even managed to maintain a somewhat upbeat, encouraging, generally pleasant attitude with others. I soooo deserve an Oscar for that some days!! This week, however, that went to hell in the proverbial handbasket even before the damn week started. And, more is the pity, I am now also out of my anti-depressants... meaning, I'm getting progressively crabbier. And my abdomen doesn't feel real good, owing to the freakin' unnecessary CT scan of my freakin' bowel today. The barium was completely unnecessary because I already KNOW what the hell is going on there - I had a colonoscopy done just last August. I just don't know what's going on in the renal system, which was supposed to be the reason for the stupid CT scan. Damn doctors ordering tests in their proprietary labs!!! Oh yeah, and then passing me along to a urologist without even bothering to tell me what the hell is wrong. Doctors suck.

Still, I could manage to handle all this without venting - if it weren't for the freaking drama that ensued on my favorite fan fiction site. I am, to put it very mildly, LIVID. I haven't been this pissed off since A Single Spark went under. Why, you might ask? Don't. You know you don't want to know. Even if you DO want to know, I strongly suspect it's only because you want an indication of which side of the fence yours truly is sitting upon. Unless, like SOME people, you already know that too. Piffle.

I'm going to make this as clear as I can... the site in question was started with the idea that it would be a drama-free zone. I took that to mean that drama that wasn't part of a story would be removed as soon as was humanly possible. The Yahoo site that I moderate, Demonlordlover2, is a strictly drama-free zone. Drama of a personal nature, between other people (not referring to dramatic events that take place in some people's lives) regardless of the participants, is not allowed. Period. I think I've done a fairly good job of keeping a lid on that on-site. Any drama (again, the kind that doesn't deal with dramatic life events, but rather the kind that fosters ill-will and bad feelings) that has been played out, has been done behind the scenes, in private, where it belongs.

Now, some may be wondering why I'm bringing this up here, in an unlocked post which is, essentially, public. Glad you asked!! Oh, you didn't? Well, TOO BAD. I get to tell you anyway, because this is MY drama zone. I get to vent my own personal angst, drama, stupidity, immaturity and whatever the hell else I feel like venting on these pages. Don't like? Don't read. Simple, eh? This is, and has been, my sanity for several years. So, yes, I get to hash stuff out "publicly," if you want to view it that way. But I do NOT get to hash stuff out on a site that is devoted to other purposes... like stories, and fandoms, and stuff like that... REGARDLESS of whether or not the site has a so-called "public forum."

This past few days, I have been appalled at the behavior of select so-called 'adults' on my favorite site. Baseless accusations regarding someone's identity should cease immediately... and cease to be disseminated as though they were fact. They aren't. They are lies, fabrications, embellishments and downright juvenile. Especially when the person (or people) in question have already been informed that I can PROVE they are wrong. My association with the other party in this idiocy goes back a lot further than the accusers are aware. As a result, I think the people (person) tossing around these lies had best reconsider what she's (they're) doing by spreading them.

Next, the people who are buying into all the horseshit should sit back and consider something. If those who became disgruntled supposedly LOVED this site SO VERY MUCH, and devoted themselves to it TIRELESSLY, and only wanted what was good for the site, why are they now working so hard to rip it to shreds?? That is disgraceful, immature, and ultimately proves that their involvement was not motivated by a desire to see the site improve. Their only motives were their own egos if they can so callously attempt to spread the type of strife that I understand they are now spreading. Self-aggrandizement is NEVER pretty. Character assassination for little other reason than supposed personal affront is extremely ugly. For all of this to take place with no regard whatsoever as to how it affects the site, itself, makes a mockery of their self-serving proclamations. And I'm so fucking sick of it I could scream. Still, my screaming is being done HERE. With no other fanfare to direct people here to read it. Why? Because I want what is best for the site and the fandom.

Know what else? I don't even give a damn if anyone believes me. I know what *I've* done in the past few years to be supportive of the fandom and the sites that I enjoy. I don't need anyone else's approval. I know what *I've* done to encourage the authors I like. But I don't need recognition for it. In addition, I know what I will do in the future to support the site I enjoy and the authors I like. And I still won't need recognition for it. I don't need it because I want to help. I don't give a damn if anyone likes me, or my involvement. I don't care one way or the other if people approve of my involvement or not. I will do what I can to help the site that I enjoy. I will do what I can to befriend and encourage the authors I enjoy. I will do what I can to help my friends regardless of which side of the fence they reside on - as long as my friends can act like civilized adults. When people go to the lengths to discredit someone else that the parties in this case have gone to, I can't consider them even remotely friendly any longer. And that saddens me. And pisses me off... obviously.

And... and... I soooooo wish the other parties in this mess would just shut up and toddle off elsewhere instead of continuing to stir the pot. Yeah, you're upset... the whole world gets it, 'k? Now just wander on off to another site, form your cliques there, continue your bad-mouthing if you must, but leave MY favorite site in peace. Please. You are not accomplishing anything other than making yourselves look like a bunch of snot-nosed brats who are still whining cuz they couldn't have a cookie. Period. Srlsy.

Okie dokie... now everyone will truly HEED the warnings not to read under the cuts from now on, won't they? *snicker*  *heaves sigh* I feel so much better, and calmer, now. Abject apologies to those who actually took their lives in their own hands and tried reading that rant!

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