Thursday's Child ... has far to go ... (0nm10wn2feet) wrote,
Thursday's Child ... has far to go ...

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A funny car story ...

Everyone who knows me will get a real kick out of this one. Even if you don't know me, picture this ... blonde, fifty year-old woman who hasn't grown up yet; one big, bad-assed, beautiful car (GTO), a fifteen year-old boy with a "need for speed"; and a PERFECT spring day in Michigan.

Got that image? Yup, HAD to take the car out .... just HAD to do it. Drove around all day getting insurance, plates, battery ... pretty much everything we THOUGHT we would need. Get back home around 5:30 PM, get the car gassed up, the battery in, me and Steven in the car and belted up, turn the key and ..... nothing. Steven rips his belts off, jumps out of the car muttering to himself, and proceeds to rummage around under the hood for a while. It seems that, on one of his really bad days, he decided to putter around connecting things that may have been disconnected for a reason. One of them made it so that the car didn't want to turn over (don't ask me, he was carrying on about the distributor, points, MSD box, whatever). He gets done and buttons up the hood again.

OK, we're in the car, we're ready to light it up .... turn the key AND ... that baby roars into life almost immediately, despite not having been started for over four months. Purrs like a TIGER. What a TOTALLY wonderful noise!! Steven and I look at each other, grinning from ear to ear. Put it in first, let the clutch out and away we go! Down the driveway, out to Eagle Road, going slow enough so that we wouldn't throw gravel from the road up into the engine compartment. Didn't try to shift out of first (just let the clutch out enough to roll some and then back) until we got around the corner onto Neal Road. Clutch in, grab shift knob, move shifter ..... CLICK.

The linkage dropped out from underneath us and the poor thing was stuck as though it was in first gear!!! The exact same thing my 1970 GTO used to do ... and did to my mother once when she drove it to the store. She had to drive that one all the way home (5 miles) from Richland in FIRST gear. It's a wonder I had a first gear by the time she got home. Anyway, I know immediately that we're not going to be able to get it anywhere until we get the linkage back where it belongs. So I do a U-turn and head for home, doing the same clutch-in, clutch-out thing. I'm thinking it's gonna be as simple as it was on the 1970, just shove linkage back where it belongs and try it again.

Um, NO!! It seems that there is a great deal more wrong with it than JUST the shift linkage ... possibly a bent shift rod. Despite being able to roll with the clutch in on the way home, after I shut it off, it's as though it just LOCKED into gear and even the clutch won't permit the car to roll free. Picture this, for those who know my hubby: big white-elephant, money-sucking, stupid car sitting crosswise in front of HIS garage when he gets home from bowling at 10:30 at night. We were in SO MUCH trouble!! We tried for three hours to do ANYTHING with the linkage, but there isn't enough clearance to even get in there without jacking the car up. With a floor jack, which we don't have. And jack-stands, which we don't have. Which all costs MONEY. And Mark HATES things that cost MONEY ... especially if they won't be used to make MORE MONEY!

To his credit, though, he just shook his head at me, told me it was a really stupid idea, glared disapprovingly most of the night, and let it go at that. I don't think he'll be as generous when it comes time for the Visa bill, but we may yet be able to get the car out from in front of HIS garage, which is all he really cares about right now. Isn't this story so typically ME, though? I can just see my sisters and mother laughing and shaking their heads, remembering the 'old days.' I can see Melanie rolling on the floor, laughing. I was even laughing last night ... but poor Steven wasn't ... he's miserable. We'll get it put back together, though, and he'll be fine again. More on the continuing saga of Nancy's second childhood later!!

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