I've finally found what I've been dredging this LJ mess for ... people who can actually exchange ideas, disagree OR agree, and live to see the morning! That is sooo amazing ... and refreshing. I've noticed, however, that my writing now tends to smack of a chatty newsletter, rather than something that I might want to go back and re-examine at a later date. Eh, sometimes, one has to compromise and just go with the flow.
At other points, though, I would much prefer to be thought, at the very least, educated. I'm not so vain as to hope that people perceive me as thoughtful or insightful. I would hope that people might, on occasion, stop and think about some thing or another that I've said ... that someone might find merit in some of my ramblings. I added more people in the last 24 hours than I think I added to my LJ in the last six months altogether.
The main purpose of my LJ, though, has always been to vent that which irritates me beyond belief. To have an outlet for the frustration that builds up in my daily life; to be able to say the things that desperately want to leap out of my mouth without the consequences. Or, at least, without some of the consequences. I get tired of having to be the center for so many. Some days, it feels like its some new kind of game or reality show: MOM in the MIDDLE. In the middle between the siblings, between my hubby and the kids, between the 'alien' kids and my kids, between differing 'alien' children ... but always in between.
I think the hardest part is when I have to be in between some of the 'alien' kids and my own. For those who might not know, I refer to the kids whose acquaintance I've made and whose needs I try to attend to, but who are not my 'natural' children. At any given point, I have at least one, sometimes two, that need more than others. I've had them living here, I have them calling when they need something ... even if its just a friendly voice at the other end of the line. I make myself available to them - and for some of them, I'm available in ways that their own parents weren't. As Maureen once put it, I'm trying to "save the world, one kid at a time."
The problem, however, is that some of my 'alien' kids haven't had the same advantages that my kids had ... they didn't have parents who indulged their interests to the point that we went on "family field trips." They didn't have parents who had either the time or the money to buy them a treasure trove of books on any subject. They didn't have parents who were so interested in the affairs of the world at large and the country in general. Thus, my own children (my daughter especially) occasionally get a little condescending toward the others; although I believe I have, in recent months, managed to make the case that they simply can't afford to be smug about anything.
They CAN afford to continue to keep an eye on world affairs, though, because I still strongly believe that what happens in the WORLD will ultimately affect their lives as well. We've seen it time and again, yet the small-minded, small-town folks in our little rural backwater still can't understand the necessity for following current affairs. It irritates the adults and bores the youth, thus leaving us like fish out of water. I'm so very glad I went fishing through a couple other LJ 'friends' lists last night. Now I don't feel nearly as strange!