Thursday's Child ... has far to go ... (0nm10wn2feet) wrote,
Thursday's Child ... has far to go ...
0nm10wn2feet

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Stupidity, thy name is ...

Me!

WARNING: RANT FOLLOWS

One would think, as long as I've been doing things like this, I would LEARN at some point, but nooooooo .... not me. I feel like I'm trapped inside a Ren and Stimpy cartoon and I'm playing the part of Stimpy ... and Ren is bellowing "Stimpy, you I-D-I-O-T!" It boggles my mind, some days, just how abysmally ignorant I can get. Each time I think I've finally plumbed the depths of stupidity, I surprise myself yet again .... WTF? Its almost as though I'm getting DUMBER as I get OLDER. What's up with THAT?

I think, perhaps, some of the problem lies in the fact that I've been far too scattered to actually focus on any one issue. They've all seemed too overwhelming to ignore any one of them and settle on solving one exclusively. So, although I don't believe I've ever been graceful enough to be a juggler, I try to keep everything up in the air and balanced. As usual, I fail miserably. Then, also as usual, I flog myself tirelessly when it happens and vow to never get to this point again. Again, I lie to myself ... and why? I don't lie to others - its a point of pride with me that I tell the truth, especially to the kids. So why do I waste so much time and energy lying to myself? If I ever figure that one out, I may just have hit upon the key to managing the rest of my miserable existence. Until then, I feel doomed to blindly continue blundering along, making monumental errors in judgment and working twice as hard to atone for them. Same shit, different day, huh?

END RANT

Wow, I feel so much .... not better. Oh well, it was worth a try, and (just maybe) if I keep trying here, I might get to the heart of things sometime before the next millennium! Wish me luck!!

[Moral of the story: Always following your heart will get you killed, figuratively speaking, of course!]

[Quote of the day: "Any idiot can face a crisis - it's this day-to-day living that wears you out." - Anton Chekhov]
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